Someone once told me that relationships are about faking. So, Is there something like picture perfect relationships in the world?
The truth of the matter is we are all struggling on different levels.
The perfect relationship does not exist, .. Because it’s actually a whole world at deconstruct! “Would we be too” conditioned since our youngest age ? Are we killing ourselves too often “in search of a perfect couple, a fairy tale couple, where prince charming and charming princess rub shoulders to live happily ever after?
Because It Would Be Perfectly Boring
“Imagine who would be your perfect partner: a person who would share all your passions, always agree with you. With whom you would not have arguments, which would protect you, provide you with the security you missed.
All this may seem tempting, and especially comfortable, but also, in the long run, so boring! Because, to feel alive, escape the routine, the monotony, it takes diversity and not someone who looks like us!
We have to confront each other to enrich ourselves through the other and to progress in our relationships. We need to become singular and unique ourselves to oppose ourselves to better assert ourselves. Because what gives sparkle to life and spice, that’s the difference
We are made to love and be loved
“We are all made to love and to be loved. We hope that the relationship will meet this expectation and this quest. We believe it all the more because of books, magazines, films, series, commercials …
In short, society makes us believe that it is possible and feeds this dream. We believe it all the more because when we fall in love, we really feel to have found this other that fills us and makes us so happy, this other with whom we decide to make a couple for life or for the as long as possible!
It is the magnificent trap in which life draws us to serve another plan, deeper, more difficult and painful but liberating, that of being fully ourselves.
Love indeed passes through stages that of the state of love correspond to this stage trap where everything goes for the best and where one idealizes the other, where one lends him all the qualities, where one gives everyone the best of oneself.
Relationships are Meant To Heal Our Wounds
“The relationship is a real chance because what we do not say, what we do not know, is that the couple will offer us a privileged space to heal our wounds of the past, deep, buried, and unconscious.
The relationship will offer us a true therapeutic area of healing: the relationship! The couple is a medicine, a therapy, a care space. This relationship space is really sacred because it is unique and only possible thanks to the other. He alone will allow us to access it thanks in a way to the suffering he will inflict on us unconsciously.
“All Our Sufferings Take Root In Our Childhood”
There are five great wounds that will profoundly affect us from infancy to birth: the wound of abandonment, the wound of rejection, the wound of betrayal, the wound of injustice and the wound of humiliation. But in a couple, the other will be a detonator and just press the button injuries we suffered. “
Our Relationships Is Meant To Reveal And Heal Our Wounds
“What is more important on earth than to love and be loved? This is our quest for all. Everything starts with our design. In the belly of our mother we will live a unique and privileged time, of total love, unconditional, perfect … We are safe, protected, all our needs are met. We lived with our mother a love fusion; we are one, in the same body.
In the best of cases, this condition will continue after the birth, depending on whether our mother will meet all our needs that of being protected, watched, hugged, cuddled, carried, toyed, fed, etc. Unfortunately, this state, like the state of love, will not be able to last because we will not be able to be one as during the gestation and to live this intimacy and this perfect complicity.
Even our most loving mother will not be able to stay at our disposal 24 hours a day and we will begin to suffer. This is where our wounds will appear and fit into our history creating gaps that we will vainly seek to fill later in our romantic relationships with the glaring nostalgia of this first love so total, so perfect.
Because The Couple Is A Path Of Love
Relationships, thanks to their intimacy will be an elevator of suffering to give us in exchange the opportunity to heal each other. We often and unconsciously reproduce what made us suffer during our childhood. The old emotional wounds will be replayed in the daily life of the couple in the form of conflicts.
We grew up, we became adults. So we have the choice to no longer undergo and learn other operations to no longer suffer or to suffer the other. It takes courage because we will have to cross again the suffering on which we had put a protection, a system of defense, not to suffer any more precisely, for example: to sulk, to isolate oneself, to flee, to attack, to manipulate, to judge, to criticize , to submit … It will be necessary to deconstruct this system.
It also requires the will of two, to be ready to continue the path together despite obstacles. It’s easier to get there with the help of a professional who will help you gain height and build a bridge between you, instead of crystallizing the conflicts by a distance more and more threatening for the couple. The imago couple therapy is very caring for that.
We will then discover the other differently, authentically in its fragility and it will be the same for us. We then enter another quality of relationship, we understand the other.
We are no longer one against the other trying to defend ourselves and to maintain control or power, we are with the other to love it in its fragility, in its authenticity and we will be able to help to grow, to find the parts of him or her that have not been recognized, to fulfill his needs in conscience. We have become allies and we are getting stronger.
This will inevitably go through empathy, finding or learning the basics of good communication, better listening, dialogue. It will also pass through acceptance and humility. It is therefore a true path of love. “
Because Life Has Another Plan For Us
“Life wants the best for us, the best is to love and be loved, as we have said, and to be open to an even greater love. But this supposes some conditions : to love oneself first and therefore to work better to know oneself to learn to esteem, to have confidence in oneself, to assert oneself … It is a way and a work. It is first of all awareness, then an effort.
Relationships offer us this very great chance for growth and personal evolution. It is a privileged space to work on oneself. Thanks to each other and with each other, we will be able to evolve, to progress. The great mission of life is to surpass ourselves, to dare to return to our fears to free ourselves from the wounds that hinder us and prevent us from being ourselves.
Relationships are Made to Evolve , Conflict Is The Sign.
If we succeed in being ourselves , we know how to find our balance , our place and then we can fully realize ourselves and offer to ourselves , to others and to the world, the best of our potentials . We can accomplish our own mission and participate in a better world by spreading more peace and harmony.
The perfect relationships do not exist: the perfect couple is the couple become conscious. It is the couple who have understood that the deep reasons for the crises and conflicts that are tearing and hurting them come from the archaic and unconscious wounds of the past.
It is the couple who consciously choose to look into this past so that everyone, in conscience, out of his inner prisons through the other, to finally decide to love fully. The couple then became a privileged place of healing and respect.